Sderot Group bar mitzvah summer 2010
Different boys from different parts of the community; different cultures from different parts of the world; different journeys, all with a common destination – joining the adult Jewish community. Welcome to the Sderot group bar mitzvah celebration of 2010!
Now in its eleventh year, the annual Sderot group bar mitzvah project enables the neediest members of the community to celebrate this milestone in a Jewish family’s life with dignity and meaning. This city, situated just over a one hour drive from Jerusalem has been devastated from years of aggressive terrorist activity from Gaza.

The process begins months in advance with the local department of social services recommending the neediest of families for this special program. The social worker meets individually with each boy and his family and later with all the participants in this project as a group, for while these families have each begun the journey independently, they will now embark on a common experience – membership in the adult Jewish community. A rabbi from the religious council works with each individual to prepare him for the significance of reaching the age of bar mitzvah, teaches him about the beauty of our heritage, and instructs the bar mitzvah boy on the mitzvah of tefillin. The process culminates in the morning services when each the young men don tefillin and are called up to the torah for a special blessing. Each one is received with shouts of mazel tov, tears of joy by the family and friends who have gathered, and a showering of taffies wishing them a sweet life ahead.
For some participants, this is the first heartfelt joy the family has experienced in years. For all of them it is the first time they have successfully integrated into a larger group and been accepted for who they are. Imagine how it must feel to be a part of this celebration as you read about some of their stories below.
N. is one of two children living with his mother in a single parent family unit. He and his brother were visiting with their “Big Brother” a few years ago when a Kassam rocket landed in the “Big Brother’s” front yard – just inches away from where the boys were playing. While thank G-d the children emerged without physical injury, the same cannot be said for their spirit and psychological health. Both boys required hospitalization due to the trauma. One of the boys suffered from such severe PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) that he was unable to return to school for an entire year. Needless to say, N. is not a typical bar mitzvah boy and will carry these scars along for life.
D. has also grown up in a single parent family, devoid of a father figure. His own father has been serving a jail sentence for murder ever since D. can remember. Growing up in poverty with the additional stigma of having a murderer for a father has placed a heavy burden on this child. Being accepted and knowing exactly what is considered appropriate behavior are just a few of D.’s challenges.
A. is also the product of a single parent family. In his case, it is the loving and nurturing embrace of a mother that is missing, as his own mother passed away approximately five years ago when he was but eight years old. While A.’s father has insisted on raising him, a local family has also become an “adoptive family” for A. and his father. While this has helped, in some ways it has also highlighted the very things A. misses the most. He also has two brothers, all of whom compete for their father’s time, attention and love. Recently, A.’s father has fathered a daughter with his girlfriend, further complicating A.’s already dysfunctional life.

And this is just a sampling of the boys who participated in this project. Now imagine these young men, all dressed in new white shirts and slacks, escorted into a beautifully decorated social hall to the blasts of a shofar and the beating of drums – a true royal escort! Their family and friends beaming with pride eagerly joined the festivities as the music played.
Words of welcome and blessing and encouragement were offered by Rabbi Oren Milka, head of the local religious council while Mazal acknowledged the unique qualities of each bar mitzvah boy. The local police sent representatives, an important statement where the police play such pivotal roles in one’s life. Of course the various volunteers who spent hours organizing and decorating the space were warmly thanked as well. Adi Friedman, the director of Connections Israel reminded all assembled that while the celebration was taking place in Sderot, it was in fact a celebration for countless individuals, schools and synagogues from the United States who identify with the plight of this community.
Each boy expressed a bar mitzvah thought as he lit the candle and sparkler on his centerpiece: prayers for the safe return of Gilad Shalit; words of gratitude for those who made this dream a reality; wishes for peace in our land and much more. May their hopes and prayers be heard and fulfilled and may we continue to celebrate bar and bat mitzvahs as a global communal family.
























